Worth Belgium
by TotusTuusMary
Summary: What do black holes, pixy stix, hobbits, mentally-challenged beavers, and banana bread have in common? Well, not much, but they're all in this story anyway! When the Doctor, Amy, and Rory crash the TARDIS, a strange and ridiculous little girl comes to help who already seems to know them. Mostly humor. Thanks for reading, and please review!
1. Chapter 1

"Doctor, maybe you should just send us a card on our next anniversary," said Amy, leaning against the railing of the TARDIS as she watched the Doctor on his back on a car creeper under the console, trying to fix it. "I mean, this year's anniversary present is really not going well," she said as she began to tick off the disasters on her fingers. "The Savoy Hotel had a Zygon ship under it, I accidentally married Henry VIII, and then you decided it would be a good idea to fly us into a black hole just to see if you could!"

The Doctor rolled out from under the console and started to reply, "I did not fly us into a black hole...oh, this is cool!" he said with a huge grin, rolling back and forth. "I play with car creepers now! Car creepers are cool! Or maybe it's a TARDIS creeper-but that doesn't sound quite as good, what do you think?"

Amy rolled her eyes at the Doctor's antics as Rory came into the control room and joined the conversation, asking, "So if you weren't flying us into a black hole, what were you doing?"

"I was flying us near a black hole, not into it! Because you know, black holes actually emit quite a lot of energy, so if we used the proper filters on the TARDIS, we could _see_ a black hole! How cool would that be!" the Doctor finished with a grin.

"Actually," said Rory, "I really could have lived without that particular adventure, especially considering it made us crash in some forest, apparently. We don't even know when or where we are, you broke the TARDIS so badly!"

"That's what you think! I know exactly where and when we are!" responded the Doctor indignantly, "I'm a Time Lord, I always can tell! We're in Iowa in America in, oh, summer of 2010 or so. Besides, things could be worse! At least there don't seem to be any aliens attacking us or even anyone around to ask why there's a police box in the middle of a forest."

"Dad! Dad!" came a voice from outside.

"I think you spoke too soon," said Amy.

"I still doubt it's aliens! I'm still right!" replied the Doctor, "All we have to do is stay in here until whoever it is leaves."

The door of the TARDIS opened inward, and a redheaded girl looked in, still calling, "Da-Oh!" she said in surprise, looking around at the interior.

"So much for that plan," muttered Amy.

"Hello!" said the Doctor, jumping up.

"Hi," replied the girl, looking around with interest. "I might have guessed that you had an ulterior motive when you let me explore on my own, even though it's completely safe out there and I have a... oh, never mind, I think that's 'spoilers.'"

"_I_ let you explore? I don't even know who you are," replied the Doctor cautiously.

"I know; that's fine," said the girl brightly, "You said that I would meet you before you knew me, but that there are a few things I have to do to maintain the paradox. You say your rules are no spoilers at all that will make either of us know what has happened in our past or future, except these specific things," she said as she began counting on her fingers. "First, I had to tell you about your rule about spoilers. Second, I get to hang out with you for a few days until I can help you fix the TARDIS!" she finished with a grin.

"You said I told you to do these things. Why would I ever be so foolish as to create all of these paradoxes?" replied the Doctor, a little angry.

"Oh, I forgot that one, I'm also supposed to tell you that you always said I was worth Belgium, and that you would know what that meant," she replied.

"Doctor? Worth Belgium? What on Earth does she mean?" asked Amy.

"Oh," said the Doctor. "I might understand. When I met my past self-or future-well, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey, another version of myself, it almost created an explosion the size of Belgium. So apparently at some point I think you're worth a paradox that big, even though I don't even know you yet. Can you at least tell us your name?"

"I'm never supposed to tell you unless you already know, or else it's spoilers," she replied quickly.

At that point, Rory interrupted, "Um, excuse me, but did you say you could help fix the TARDIS? Because I for one would really like to not be stranded in a forest, in summer, in Iowa, in 2010 forever."

The Doctor said quickly, "We wouldn't be stuck in 2010 forever, Rory-it will probably be 2011 soon."

The girl laughed and said, "Well, actually, it's 2008, and we're in Kansas, not Iowa, but close enough. At least it really is summer! Of course I can help you fix the TARDIS. You'll be ready to go again in no time."

"So much for 'Time Lords can always tell,'" quipped Amy as the Doctor scowled.

"I bet my future self didn't tell you to bring that up," he grumbled.

"Nope!" the girl replied cheerily, "I just think it's funny."

"You know, I think I'm going to like this kid," said Amy with a grin.


	2. Chapter 2

"No time" turned out to be a bit optimistic, but at least the girl seemed to know what she was doing. All afternoon, she helped the Doctor work on his TARDIS, humming cheerfully as she worked. Around 6:00, the Doctor pulled her out from under the console on the car creeper she was using.

"All right, that's the fifth time I've heard your stomach growl in seven and a half minutes," he said, feigning sternness. "It's time for supper, or else!"

"OK!" she replied, smiling.

Really, though, he was curious: he wanted to see what sort of food this girl ate, to try to get some clues about her. He pulled plate after plate of unusual foods out of the TARDIS refrigerator (at least that was still working), rambling the entire time.

"Now this is cheese chicken. A delicacy. The other purple meat. Look, here's a whole container of pixy stix!"

"I know," she replied, laughing. "But remember not to spell them correctly or else the SWAT team will come after you!"

"Really? I'll have to remember that," he said, then, seeing her worried expression, quickly continued. "I don't think that counts as spoilers, though."

"Good!" she said, smiling again.

When all four of the TARDIS's occupants finally sat down to eat, the girl politely asked the others to pass the normal Earth foods, ignoring the strange and alien ones, and began eating with gusto.

After a few minutes of silence, the Doctor spoke. "So, I know you can't tell us much about your real life, but would you like to tell us something anyway?"

She looked up from her plate, smiling. "You mean I get to make up a story?" Then, glancing guiltily at Amy, she asked, "Are you sure? A crazy fun one? And Amy doesn't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind!" replied Amy in surprise. "Why would I?"

The Doctor spoke up, saying, "I'll even make you a deal. If you can tell a crazy fun story that's stranger than anything I've ever seen, I'll let you eat as many pixy stix as you want-and I'll make sure to spell them wrong!"

With a mischievous grin, the girl began. "Well, you see, raisins are evil. They are actually mummified chipmunk brains. They run around separately from the chipmunks, and you have to use goats to catch them. You have to get the goats to sit on them. But, see, the determiners (they mine deter, of course) don't have any goats, or even any deer, so they get overrun with mummified chipmunk brains..."

When the girl finally finished her story some twenty minutes later, the others were amazed.

"Yeah, I can see why I would make you stop telling 'crazy fun' stories if they're all like that," said Amy, "I've seen a lot traveling with the Doctor, but that was just weird."

"Definitely really weird," agreed Rory.

"I declare you the winner of unlimited pixy stix!" declared the Doctor, "That was impressive!"


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor and the girl didn't get much more done on the TARDIS that evening. After eating way too many pixy stix, she insisted on exploring the forest with just him for a few hours. They knocked down some trees, put a tree in a tree, and found a mentally challenged beaver before they finally calmed down a bit and returning to the TARDIS around 8:30. They started to work on the TARDIS again, but the girl had been yawning by 8:45, despite claiming that she was not sleepy at all, and half an hour later Amy had declared bedtime, saying that the girl would destroy the TARDIS worse than the Doctor did if she didn't get some sleep. Amy and Rory had gone off to find her somewhere to sleep, but the Doctor stayed behind. He sat alone in the chair near the console, staring into space and thinking about the strange girl. He was startled out of his reverie when Amy returned a few minutes later.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Oh, hi," he replied.

"Well, the girl wanted Rory to help her find a place to sleep. She thinks it's more of an adventure that way, apparently. I think she'll be exploring for a while before she finally gives up and goes to sleep." Amy said, leaning against the console, "But I saw you staring at her every time you thought she wasn't looking. Did you figure anything out about her?"

"I just don't know," replied the Doctor in frustration, "She seems to have the sleeping patterns of an ordinary human girl of her age, and she seemed happiest eating ordinary human food from this place and time when we had supper. But she's at the center of a huge paradox. She knows me-and you two also, apparently-very well, even though we've never met her at all. She knows how to fix the TARDIS. All day, she was humming songs that were everything from ordinary contemporary human songs to songs from the future to alien songs-even Gallifreyan ones! I don't know what to think!"

"And then there was her story about raisins and chipmunks and whatever else, and all the crazy stuff you two did in the forest," responded Amy. "I really don't think that's normal."

"You're not exactly normal yourself, Amelia Pond. No one on this TARDIS is," the Doctor reminded her, before both of them looked up in surprise to see that Rory had returned already.

"I'm surprised she went to bed so quickly," said Amy.

"I know, so am I," said Rory, shaking his head, "but she says there's plenty of time to explore in the morning, because her dad won't worry about her since he'll remember her being here with him. Or something. But did you notice that when she came in, she was calling for her dad?" asked Rory, "She didn't stop when she saw a phone box in the middle of the forest, she only stopped when she saw us inside of it. She expected her dad to be in the TARDIS."

"I know, but what does that mean?" replied the Doctor. "She certainly has red enough hair to be your and Amy's daughter, but maybe she's the daughter of someone else we bring on the TARDIS with us at some point, or maybe she's..." He stopped short as he heard footsteps approaching the control room.

The girl emerged wearing a huge T-shirt as pajamas, saying grumpily, "I don't know what exactly counts as spoilers, but I think you're probably breaking your own rules, so you should all just stop and let me go to sleep."

She turned around and went back down the hall towards her bed, then Rory asked "How did she even hear us?"

"I don't know," said the Doctor, "but we should probably stop talking about her so she can get some sleep."

"All right," said Amy, "We'll see you in the morning, then."

* * *

Author's note: Well, this is less absolutely hilarious than the last two chapters, but still, they did find a mentally challenged beaver and put a tree in a tree. Anyway, if you think you've already figured out what I'm doing, I'm sorry, I'm no good at being sneaky-but there's always the chance it's a bluff. Or a double bluff. Or a triple bluff! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Amy and Rory awoke early to the girl bouncing onto their bed, loudly singing a song about noodles and hobbits, obviously of her own making.

"Oh, go away," moaned Amy, "It's still early. It's only 5:45!"

"No, come on, wake up! The sun is up, so it's day, so let's go have fun!" shouted the girl, still bouncing.

"Go bother the Doctor, OK? We aren't getting up until for at least another two hours. Some of us actually stayed up past 9:00 last night," said Rory, still half asleep.

"You only stayed awake doing boring things and breaking your own rules. Fine, since you're no fun this morning, I'll go have breakfast with the Doctor!" she called back as she left the room at a sprint.

* * *

The Doctor was still sitting by the console, thinking, when she bounced over to him that morning. He had just thought of an idea to try to find out her name.

"Good morning, Sarah!" he said.

"But that's not my name," she said, confused.

"I know, but until you tell me your name I'll just call you something new every time. So let's make breakfast, Squanto Jones the fourth!"

_And I'll watch you to see if you react to any of the names_, he thought.

"All right!" she said, giggling.

* * *

About twenty minutes later, they were sitting outside the TARDIS finishing banana bread and chocolate chip sandwiches in the early morning air. The Doctor watched her carefully inspect the banana bread before eating each bite.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Banana bread is best if you can get as many chocolate chips as possible in the last bite, so I have to plan out how I eat it," she replied.

"I see." the Doctor said. "When you're done, we can get some work done on the TARDIS before Amy and Rory wake up and get in the way."

"OK!" she replied, mouth full of chocolate.

* * *

"Pass me that thermocoupling, Bob," said the Doctor as Amy and Rory walked into the control room later that morning.

"Wait, what?" asked Amy, "Her name cannot be Bob."

"No," replied the girl, "and it's not Sarah, Squanto Jones the fourth, Ferdinand, Jenny, or anything else he's called me this morning. Until he knows my name, he's just calling me something different every time."

"That's right!" said the Doctor from under the console, "now hand me that thermocoupling, Susan! At least you won't drop it like Rory did."

"Hey!" shouted Rory, "I didn't mean to!"

"Anyway, now that everyone is finally awake, can we go explore the TARDIS? Please?" asked the girl.

"You are the most inefficient person I have ever had the misfortune of fixing the TARDIS with. We've only been working for a couple of hours!" said the Doctor, rolling out from under the console.

"I know," said the girl, "but once we have everything done but the scanner I have to leave so that you don't find out too much about me. But in the meantime, I want to have fun! There are no aliens here-well, except for you, I mean-at least no aliens are chasing us. This is a nice adventure, so I want to stay here for a while."

"She does have a point, Doctor," said Rory.

"We're not always being chased by aliens!" said the Doctor indignantly, as the other three shared a disbelieving look, "Only most of the time!"


End file.
